INNER LOVER EXPLAINED
What does it mean to be your own Inner Lover?
When we love and accept ourselves exactly as we are, we energetically attune ourselves to the vibration of love...
From this place of being in love we attract loving people and events towards us, and we begin to create a life that resonates with love.
So how do we do this?
On the path of opening to love, we have to become aware of all
the ways that we prohibit or block love from flowing in our life.
This is a process of deep introspection and truth-telling.
The unresolved hurts that we carry around with us daily and the coping mechanisms we use to manage stress can keep us in a state of "comfortably numb." We don't look that deeply within,
and we get to avoid our pain.
But we pay a price for that!
When we don't allow ourselves to feel our deeper feelings, we also are prohibited from feeling freedom, joy, love and true connection. It's kind of "safe" but it's also a prison. At some point in your life you will be ready to break free from that prison, to be your true self and live a life that is authentic to you.
Relational vs. Inner Love
For most of us, when we think of love, we think of love in relationship to another: loving and feeling loved by a parent, child or romantic partner. But as we awaken to our true self we begin to realize that until we truly love ourselves we won't be able to truly love or allow ourselves to be loved by another.
"We allow ourselves to be loved by another to the extent that we feel worthy of being loved ourselves."
Most of our Psyche is hidden in the subconscious including all the ways we learned to relate to our loved ones. Much of the relating that we learned in our family of origin was about how to cope or even survive in the relationships. As we mature into adults and begin to seek out fulfilling relationships we come face to face with all the wounds we have endured and the coping mechanisms we put in place to help us survive through those early experiences.
Now try this!
Imagine being with a person who loves and nurtures you in the best way you can imagine. They know your needs, they know what you like and they give you the perfect kind of love that you need everyday- physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Now imagine that you are giving that kind of love and care to yourself!
What are the things you can do to treat yourself the way you most wish to be treated?
Ask your self "How much space do I need? How much closeness do I need? What kinds of things make me feel appreciated and cherished?"
When you know this and are able to give this to yourself you will be much more capable of communicating your needs to your partner, and you will begin to create a nourishing and deeply loving relationship with yourself.
Projecting?
So much of the time we are looking outside of ourselves for our partner to meet our needs, we project onto them that they should know what our needs are and if they don't or can't meet those needs, it means they don't love us. Sound familiar?
Let's go a layer deeper...
Is it possible that you are really wanting them to love the places inside of you that you have already deemed unlovable? What you really want is for them to love you exactly as you are, right? But if you can't love yourself in the places where you feel unlovable, then it will be energetically impossible for anyone else to do that for you. When we can love ALL of who we are, we energetically give others permission to love ALL of us as well.
This path is about waking up to our own emptiness and truly meeting ourselves in that place, loving and attending to ourselves there. This is the work of coming back home to our true selves, our innocence, and this is the place we begin to create truly healthy relationships from.
When we can be our own Inner Lover, we can truly love another!
Love and Light,
Heidi Jo
When we love and accept ourselves exactly as we are, we energetically attune ourselves to the vibration of love...
From this place of being in love we attract loving people and events towards us, and we begin to create a life that resonates with love.
So how do we do this?
On the path of opening to love, we have to become aware of all
the ways that we prohibit or block love from flowing in our life.
This is a process of deep introspection and truth-telling.
The unresolved hurts that we carry around with us daily and the coping mechanisms we use to manage stress can keep us in a state of "comfortably numb." We don't look that deeply within,
and we get to avoid our pain.
But we pay a price for that!
When we don't allow ourselves to feel our deeper feelings, we also are prohibited from feeling freedom, joy, love and true connection. It's kind of "safe" but it's also a prison. At some point in your life you will be ready to break free from that prison, to be your true self and live a life that is authentic to you.
Relational vs. Inner Love
For most of us, when we think of love, we think of love in relationship to another: loving and feeling loved by a parent, child or romantic partner. But as we awaken to our true self we begin to realize that until we truly love ourselves we won't be able to truly love or allow ourselves to be loved by another.
"We allow ourselves to be loved by another to the extent that we feel worthy of being loved ourselves."
Most of our Psyche is hidden in the subconscious including all the ways we learned to relate to our loved ones. Much of the relating that we learned in our family of origin was about how to cope or even survive in the relationships. As we mature into adults and begin to seek out fulfilling relationships we come face to face with all the wounds we have endured and the coping mechanisms we put in place to help us survive through those early experiences.
Now try this!
Imagine being with a person who loves and nurtures you in the best way you can imagine. They know your needs, they know what you like and they give you the perfect kind of love that you need everyday- physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Now imagine that you are giving that kind of love and care to yourself!
What are the things you can do to treat yourself the way you most wish to be treated?
Ask your self "How much space do I need? How much closeness do I need? What kinds of things make me feel appreciated and cherished?"
When you know this and are able to give this to yourself you will be much more capable of communicating your needs to your partner, and you will begin to create a nourishing and deeply loving relationship with yourself.
Projecting?
So much of the time we are looking outside of ourselves for our partner to meet our needs, we project onto them that they should know what our needs are and if they don't or can't meet those needs, it means they don't love us. Sound familiar?
Let's go a layer deeper...
Is it possible that you are really wanting them to love the places inside of you that you have already deemed unlovable? What you really want is for them to love you exactly as you are, right? But if you can't love yourself in the places where you feel unlovable, then it will be energetically impossible for anyone else to do that for you. When we can love ALL of who we are, we energetically give others permission to love ALL of us as well.
This path is about waking up to our own emptiness and truly meeting ourselves in that place, loving and attending to ourselves there. This is the work of coming back home to our true selves, our innocence, and this is the place we begin to create truly healthy relationships from.
When we can be our own Inner Lover, we can truly love another!
Love and Light,
Heidi Jo