Shame my Love

Shame my love, you have helped me see
the deepest shame that lives in me
Shame my love, you help me to know
how from this shame I need to grow

And because you've disregarded me
I remember that I learned once upon a time that I am disregardable
Unimportant
Someone not worth considering
Left out

I'm embarrassed that you've disregarded me
That you feel my needs don't matter
But I'm embarrassed for who.... Me or you?

I thought me at first
I always thought me....
I thought I was the forgotten one
The unimportant one.....

But now perhaps I feel it differently
Perhaps now I am embarrassed for you
I feel sorry for you
That you would leave me out
That you would forget such a precious jewel as myself
That you would disregard the needs of such a wondrous being as me
What a loss to you that really is

I always saw it as my loss, that I would be forgotten
That I was left behind
But now I see
It is your loss
You are missing out on ME
Missing holding the precious jewel that I am
Missing honoring the needs of my sweet, sweet being
Missing cherishing my tender hopes and dreams and desires
You have missed all those opportunities
And I feel those opportunities arising in me, coming alive in me now
The opportunities to cherish every moment of my opening self
My trusting, my blossoming, my becoming

So now, who are you to me?
The one who disregarded me, the one who has not valued me...
Who are you to me?

Tuning in,
I feel sad, loss, hurt, knowing how you have treated me
I feel a residue of this wound still alive in me
Hurts so bad
Knowing that you've not cherished and valued me
Thought of me as you're special one

But, is that your wound that you carry within you, my dear
That allows you to treat me so?
Is that how you treat yourself inside your own heart?
Thank you for showing me

Shame my love, you have helped me see
the deepest shame that lives in me
Shame my love, you help me to know
how from this shame I need to grow

​by Heidi Jo